[에세이 만점은 독서 교육으로부터!] The Tiger Rising by Kate DiCamillo
Synopsis:
After the death of his mother, Rob moves with his father into a run-down motel in a small Florida town. Rob has given up on the world, and tries not to think about life much anymore, keeping a deep sadness inside. After Rob encounters a caged tiger behind the motel and meets a challenging new student named Sistine, his true adventure begins.
Essay Question
At the end of the book, Rob feels different, “much lighter.” Also, Rob is no longer afraid of Beauchamp. Explain how being friends with Sistine and freeing the caged tiger change Rob. Give specific examples from the book to show how Rob changes.
Student Essay
After they send the tiger free with Sistine he felt different. He felt different because Sistine encourage him by that they should sent the tiger free because the tiger shouldn‘t be treated that way. Like trap in the cage alone. He thought that was a bad idea. But when Beauchamp said that he was gonna use the tiger for something like for a coat. He feels that he is reproach that he just gonna listen to Beauchamp what he said. Than afer the tiger’s death and he was going tell that he sent the tiger free he felt better and he was no longer afraid of Beauchamp anymore. He knew that some how that their friends and family are gonna get fired by killing his tiger.
Teacher Comments
We need to discuss some basic rules of essay writing. First, you need more than one paragraph. One paragraph such as you have here is never a real essay. Paragraphs let you focus on the different topics you need to support your essay‘s main idea. In this essay, for example, you need to focus on what Rob is like in the beginning of the story, explain Beauchamp, and then tell about Sistine and the tiger. You have topics for three paragraphs.
Also, you must be specific and use names of characters in the beginning of any essay. Using “they” and “he” in your first sentence is unclear. Who? We don’t know. You are making the reader guess who/what you mean. Remember this simple rule: write essays as if they are for people who have not read the book and who cannot see the essay instructions. This means you have to set up your essay and introduce characters and the main situation.
We have to know the main ideas of the essay and know “who is who” in the story. If you do not do this, then we do not know who these characters are, how they know each other, or where in the world a tiger came from! You have to begin your essays with an introductory paragraph. After that, when you focus on Beauchamp and Sistine, we will have an idea of who they are.
Explain who Rob is...tell of his father...then explain that he met Sistine, and tell who she is. We need to know of Beauchamp and the tiger. Once you do all this, then you can begin focusing on the other main ideas of the essay. We need to know what Rob is like in the beginning of the story so that we can see and understand his changes after he meets Sistine and does what he does with the tiger. You are leaving a lot of the story out of your essay so far, so you will need to add more.
Also, know that you should avoid using BUT and LIKE to begin sentences. You create fragments when you do that. In addition, “gonna” is not a real word. It might be how a person pronounces “going to” but it is not a real word to include in an essay.
Please work on making new paragraphs and correcting the errors I have pointed out. I also want you to know that learning these rules and ideas takes time and practice-you will get better if you try, but you won‘t be writing perfect essays instantly. I know that, and you should know that, too, so please do not be frustrated!