[제 2회 드림에세이 수상작] Esther(Jung Yeon) Kim -'How Living in America has affected me'

Grade: 12th / High School: Herbert Hoover High School

I spent thirteen years of my life, in Korea, doing whatever I wanted, speaking of whatever I thought, and spoiling myself by making my parents buy me almost everything I wanted. I have one older brother and one younger sister. My dad’s business was going pretty well back then thus my family lived in a four-roomed apartment, enjoying our wealthy lives. My brother lived in Idaho State for one year as an exchange student and when he came back my mom wanted all of us, the three siblings, to move to America so that my brother could continue studying English.

My mom, my brother, y sister, and I moved to California in December 2003. My dad still stayed in Korea trying to keep his business going since his business began to decrease in profit. After about one year of getting used to living in America, we got into a situation where my dad couldn’t send us any money so my mom had to start working for the cost of living.

When my dad turned eighteen, he started working as well. None of us had a cellular phone that time, we barely paid for our apartment rent, and we had to borrow money from some people that we just met at church. None of our siblings was able to get lunch money for school and that’s what I hated the most because I had to starve from eight o’clock in the morning to three o’clock afternoon almost everyday.

At the end of my tenth grade year I started working. I had many different jobs and it has been over two years working at the same food place. When I first started, it was fun to see so many different people and get to know how one business ran between the customers and the employees. However, as time went by, I began to struggle with so many rude customers and other employees who were yelling, complaining, and being disrespectful.

There were days that I cried by myself after work. I wanted to quit because I’ve never been through this kind of situation before. It was very heart aching but I couldn’t quit since my family still needed my financial support. I didn’t understand why I had to say, “I’m sorry,” to the complaining customers when it wasn’t even my fault. I used to be the kind of person who thought and remembered every sad thing that had happened to me so I got depressed so often.

Fortunately, I had the nicest and the kindest boss ever so he convinced and encouraged me to ignore those kinds of customers and let them be that way since they’re so ignorant enough to be rude to people that they don’t even know. I learned to suppress my anger and be patience and why I need to study so hard while working. I realized what my parents really meant by saying “Studying is the easiest way to succeed in your life.” And I promised myself that I’d study my butt off and become a capable person so that there never will be times that I’d have to work getting minimum wage.

I was also struggling with so many people of all different kinds of cultures. But now I know that it’s not right to blame or hate any culture just because of what they have done wrong to me, because it all depends on every person. The book “Ho’o Ponopono’s secret” helped me a lot as well. The author exclaims that saying “Thank you,”, “Sorry,”, “I love you,”, and “forgive me,” solves many problems but what I really put in action is to blame myself for everything whenever something or someone was bothering me. Now, my bad temper is found nowhere.

I used to complain why I had to live like this, being talked down on, just because I’m an immigrant. I wanted to go back to Korea and live as a person that I used to be, but now I’m so thankful that I’ve been through so many difficulties that some people couldn’t go through. I know what it’s like to be poor and I know what it feels like to live in a foreign country so I can respect all different kinds of people I would ever meet in my life. I became a much better person with comprehension and patience in America.

Living in America has taught me how to live my life better and why I need to work hard and be diligent. If I still lived in Korea, I’m sure I would’ve gone through many other difficulties but I couldn’t have gone through the same stuff that I’ve gone through here. I think positive and thank God for everything that he had done for me.

My family got so much better with the financial problem because my dad got a new job and my older brother got an official job that could totally make a living for all of my family members. My family members would not be this close and get along with each other if we were still wealthy.

Living in America is actually what many of other foreigners want to do because it’s a country where capable people from all different kinds of countries live and work together for the best in. People who were born and are living in this country should be so thankful because opportunities are everywhere.